Say “Yes” to life

It is difficult to say yes to life, because you have been taught to say no. And the conditioning is very ancient. And not only is the conditioning there which does not allow you to say yes, there is some inner mechanism also that does not allow you to say yes.

When a child is born he is a yes-sayer. Slowly, as he starts feeling himself as an individual, the no arises. When the child starts saying no you can be certain this is the time when the ego is born. The ego cannot exist without saying no, so each child has to say no. It is an inner necessity for becoming an individual. If the child goes on saying yes to everything he will never become an individual, he will not have any definition to his being. How will he be able to define? ‘Yes’ gives you no definition, ‘no’ gives you definition. When you say no, you know it is ‘I’ saying no. When you say yes, there is no ‘I’ in it.

Life and you remain one when you say yes. When you say no you demark a line, you assert.

Each child lives in the Garden of Eden for a few months, a few years, and then slowly, slowly he has to deny, he has to rebel, he has to disobey. The father says, “Don’t do this!” and he has to do it just to say, “I am myself. You cannot go on ordering me like that. I’m not a slave. I have my own preferences, I have my own likes and dislikes.” Sometimes the child even does something which he does not much like to do, but he has to do it because the father is saying don’t do it.

Children start smoking cigarettes; no child likes smoking a cigarette for the first time — nobody can like it. Tears come to the eyes, the child starts coughing, the throat feels in a misery, the heart does not like it, but he has to do it because the father is saying “Don’t smoke!” He has to go against the father; that is the only way to have a separate existence. He has to go against the mother, he has to go against the teacher. There is a time for each child to say no, and that is good. I am not against it, otherwise there would be no more individuals. But then you become accustomed to saying no.