Loving relationship

Uncertainty in relationships: 6 things a loving partner doesn’t do

If you can’t figure out how your partner feels about you and are struggling to share a connection with them, these points will help you gain clarity.
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In life, there are many wonderful things to be experienced. Of all these, being in a loving relationship may be right on top. Young love or adult love, short-term or ones that go the whole mile, each relationship is different and valuable in its own way.

However, relationships are not a bed of roses. It’s not easy to navigate through the complexities of relationships. If there is love and intimacy, there are also complaints, resentment and pain. The romance of a relationship takes a backseat when partners struggle to come on the same page.

Have you ever wondered why these things happen when there is enough love and emotional intimacy? Have you struggled with differences of opinion and behaviour with your partner? If your answer is a yes, then it’s time to re-evaluate your own tendencies and behaviour to experience your ideal loving relationship with your partner.

Soulveda enlists a few red flags that you should look out for and strive to change them for the loving relationship you want.

Are you listening?

When you actively listen to each other’s needs, emotions and perspectives, you make your relationship stronger. A study shows that active listening, especially during stressful situations, leads to higher relationship satisfaction. In simple words, a loving partner will never interrupt when the other is speaking.

It is okay to get busy. But carve out time for your partner, listen to them when they speak. Even a few moments of your undivided attention can make them feel special.

Disrespecting boundaries

No matter how deeply you love a person, setting boundaries is important to keep a relationship strong and healthy. By setting limits, we protect our wellbeing and honour. Keeping and respecting boundaries is indeed an unwritten yet golden rule of relationships.

Invading your partner’s space might make them uncomfortable. For instance, checking your partner’s phone behind their back or going through their belongings without consent, might tell them that their boundaries are not respected.

According to psychotherapist Deborah Hecker, “Boundaries protect our sense of personal identity and help guard against being overwhelmed by the demand of others.” If you have questions or doubts, communicate them clearly instead of overwhelming or hurting your partner by invading their personal space.

Manipulative behaviour

Putting words in your partner’s mouth intentionally or inadvertently might make them feel manipulated. If this makes your partner second guess themselves, it might shake their confidence.

For instance, if a fight becomes about who did what, then it is a challenge that needs to be addressed. American therapist Sharie Stines explains, “people who are trying to manipulate others are trying to control others.” If this assessment feels relatable, then it is time to find ways to rectify counterproductive behaviour before it causes irreparable damage to a loving relationship.

Relationship status: Is it hush-hush?

Everyone is entitled to a private life, but keeping a relationship secret, in the guise of privacy, is an unhealthy trait. While flaunting your relationship all the time seems unwarranted, so is being on the other side of the spectrum by keeping it completely discreet.

Relationship expert Gina Daniel told Bustle, “If someone loves you enough to want to be with you, they should at least let people know you are involved, even if it’s just at your request.”

It is understandable that everyone takes their time to make their feelings public. But it doesn’t seem right to constantly resist the act of going public with your relationship. Keeping relationship a secret indirectly tells your partner you are not very sure about them in the long run. It also adds a layer of doubt and stress in the relationship.

Get rid of this red flag by meeting them half way. Try and make your relationship known to your close circle of friends. That way, your partner will feel secure and loved.

Being supportive

In relationships, it is imperative that partners become each other’s biggest cheerleaders. No matter which path you choose in life, a loving partner will cheer you from the stands. Most importantly a compassionate partner will never try to discourage you or break your confidence. Indifference to your partner’s highs and lows and endeavours indicates a need for self-assessment. Try to understand what imbalances your equation with your partner and work towards it.

Spending quality time

In the mad chaos of everyday life, a loving couple has to find time for each other. This does not necessarily mean expressing love through physical and emotional intimacy. Little gestures such as keeping the phone down to have a tete-a-tete over tea or to simply bask in each other’s company over music speak of love like very few things do.

Being present in the moment makes all the difference in a loving relationship. Learn to build patience and calm around your partner. If spending quality time doesn’t come easily to you, maybe the relationship is running on very little fuel. Reassess your position as a loving couple. It is best to communicate and confront your lack of feelings instead of hurting your partner.

Where there is love, there’s bound to be conflicts. Overlooking small but significant signs of trouble affects the quality of a relationship. A relationship blossoms beautifully if we tend it not just with love, but also with time and attention.

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