In life, there are many wonderful things to be experienced. Of all these, being in a loving relationship may be right on top. Young love or adult love, short-term or ones that go the whole mile, each relationship is different and valuable in its own way.
However, relationships are not a bed of roses. It’s not easy to navigate through the complexities of relationships. If there is love and intimacy, there are also complaints, resentment and pain. The romance of a relationship takes a backseat when partners struggle to come on the same page.
Have you ever wondered why these things happen when there is enough love and emotional intimacy? Have you struggled with differences of opinion and behaviour with your partner? If your answer is a yes, then it’s time to re-evaluate your own tendencies and behaviour to experience your ideal loving relationship with your partner.
Soulveda enlists a few red flags that you should look out for and strive to change them for the loving relationship you want.
Are you listening?
When you actively listen to each other’s needs, emotions and perspectives, you make your relationship stronger. A study shows that active listening, especially during stressful situations, leads to higher relationship satisfaction. In simple words, a loving partner will never interrupt when the other is speaking.
It is okay to get busy. But carve out time for your partner, listen to them when they speak. Even a few moments of your undivided attention can make them feel special.
Disrespecting boundaries
No matter how deeply you love a person, setting boundaries is important to keep a relationship strong and healthy. By setting limits, we protect our wellbeing and honour. Keeping and respecting boundaries is indeed an unwritten yet golden rule of relationships.
Invading your partner’s space might make them uncomfortable. For instance, checking your partner’s phone behind their back or going through their belongings without consent, might tell them that their boundaries are not respected.
According to psychotherapist Deborah Hecker, “Boundaries protect our sense of personal identity and help guard against being overwhelmed by the demand of others.” If you have questions or doubts, communicate them clearly instead of overwhelming or hurting your partner by invading their personal space.
Manipulative behaviour
Putting words in your partner’s mouth intentionally or inadvertently might make them feel manipulated. If this makes your partner second guess themselves, it might shake their confidence.
For instance, if a fight becomes about who did what, then it is a challenge that needs to be addressed. American therapist Sharie Stines explains, “people who are trying to manipulate others are trying to control others.” If this assessment feels relatable, then it is time to find ways to rectify counterproductive behaviour before it causes irreparable damage to a loving relationship.
When a partner asks, “Are you listening?” it often indicates a breakdown in communication. It suggests that one partner feels unheard or that their thoughts and feelings aren’t being given the attention they deserve.
Disrespecting boundaries can erode trust and create tension in a relationship. A loving partner acknowledges and honors the limits set by their significant other.
Manipulative behavior involves trying to control or influence a partner’s thoughts, feelings, or actions through deceit, guilt, or emotional tactics.
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