In relationships, sometimes, we feel that the other person is not only a problem but also a source of conflicts. We have to be aware that there always have to be two people involved for there to be an unhappy or conflictive exchange.
When we are in any conflict, it is difficult to see and understand the true causes and the real energy of the process of the conflict. The emotions that arise inside us during a conflict distract us and even blind us. In the first place, it is important to recognise that your response in any situation of conflict is your contribution to the conflict. The process of responding to any person or situation is something that takes place in you. Nothing can make you feel anything without your permission.
If you have been in conflict with someone for a time, for sure, you create fear or anger towards them, expressing thus behaviours of resistance when you communicate or relate to them. The other person is not responsible for your emotions or for your behaviour.
Your experience of conflict and your contribution to the conflict begin in your consciousness and you keep them in your consciousness. It begins with your perception of the other (how you see others). If you perceive them negatively you will think negatively; you will feel negative and create a negative attitude; you will behave negatively, and so you will transmit a negative energy.
You don’t have to do it like that. Perception is a choice. When there is conflict, there is mental and emotional pain, even physical. Who creates that pain? You! Who creates at least half of the conflict? You! Where do you dissolve it? In your consciousness–in you.
Freeing yourself of the conflict is a matter of a decision. At any moment, you can decide not to be in conflict. One party has to dissolve their contribution to the conflict, even if it is temporarily, for the process of resolution to be able to begin.