Ever since I was a girl, I have been fascinated by weddings. Of course, at that time I did not think about married life. Like any little girl, I merely imagined being a show-stopping bride, getting all the attention, and being in the spotlight.
Fast forward 20 odd years and on my D-day, it dawned on me that weddings mark the beginning of a new phase of life. The moment my fiancé and I vowed to spend the rest of our lives together, it suddenly hit me that I was about to start a new chapter in my life.
I’ve been married for close to a year now, and the initial days of marriage have been the most interesting. I’m slowly transitioning from singlehood to marriage. Allow me to share what this transition feels like.
From princess to queen
From being a happy-go-lucky princess at my parent’s kingdom, I am crowned to become a dutiful queen of my own castle. And the best part: I finally get the freedom to break old rules that my parents had set for me. Instead, I get to forge new rules for myself with the new king. But mind you, this authority comes with great accountability. After all, the new kingdom ought to be ruled efficiently.
From ‘I’ to ‘we’
A key change I’m noticing within myself is how marriage has made me more inclusive. It’s like I have gone from an ‘I’ to a ‘we’ mentality. Whenever I’m faced with any decision in life, I now automatically think about how my choices might affect him, or us as a couple. I’m amazed how two unique individuals can come together and learn to become one solid unit.
“Marriage is not just a bond between two people. It is the coming together of two families. I gained a partner for life, and also new kith and kin.”
From carefree to responsible
I remember the good old single days when I didn’t have a care in the world. I did not have to bother myself with chores or responsibilities. I confess. My mother did that for me. Marriage, on the other hand, has forced the laidback me to wake up and act responsibly. I have finally started taking my life seriously.
From family to families
Marriage is not just a bond between two people. It is the coming together of two families. I gained a partner for life, and also new kith and kin. Initially, I found it hard to accept new relatives out of the blue. To live with in-laws, instead of parents, was especially difficult. But eventually, time helped me understand, accept and warm up to them.
From spark to comfort
They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. During courtship, these personality differences create ‘the spark’ in relationships. But in a marriage, the same differences could become the bone of contention. My husband and I are learning to be more accepting of one another, even with all our shortcomings. We are now more comfortable together than ever before.