trust in a relationship

Trust in a relationship: Why it is important and how to build it

Whether you are dating someone new or already in a serious relationship but struggling to make things work, here's what you can do to forge an unshakeable bond with your partner.
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Trust is built brick by brick, in moments that you share with your partner every day. It’s an assurance that your partner has your best interest at heart, something which goes both ways. According to The Gottman Institute blog, “For a relationship to succeed in the long run, you must be able to trust each other. Building trust with a partner is really about the small moments of connection that allow you to feel safe and to truly believe that your partner will show up for you.”

The more you trust each other, the stronger your relationship becomes. When trust exists, you are not scared to show your vulnerable side to your partner, as you feel secure and comfortable. On the other hand, when there is no trust, uncertainty arises that can destroy a relationship. It can spring confusion and feelings of insecurity, which in the long run, can also lead to infidelity and dissolution of the union.

Whether you are dating someone new or already in a serious relationship but struggling to make things work, here’s what you can do to forge an unshakeable bond with your partner.

Earn your partner’s trust

How do you earn your partner’s trust after giving them reasons not to? You can start by being true to your words and following through with your actions. The whole point of building trust is to let your partner know that you can be someone they can rely upon. Keeping your promises can show them that you can be trusted. Your word is your reputation and your character is defined by your honesty and integrity. It becomes easier for others to start trusting you again once you ensure that you can keep your promises and don’t go back on your words.

Communicate your feelings openly

Communication is the key to maintaining trust in a relationship. People, in general, tend to assume the worst when they are kept in dark. When you hide something from your partner, they can easily lose their trust in you. On the other hand, when you communicate your thoughts and feelings to your loved one, they will know where you stand and why you did what you did. It’s easier to establish trust when a relationship is kept transparent.

Take responsibility for your actions

When you try to hide your mistakes, it sends a message to your partner that you are being dishonest. It leaves room for doubt to creep into your relationship. So, don’t be afraid to acknowledge your shortcomings. Be accountable for your actions and accept that your words and action can have consequences. For instance, if you forgot to clean up the room, instead of blaming your partner for not reminding you, take responsibility and do it as soon as you can. By being open, you show your vulnerable side, and this helps build trust in a relationship.

Do not make false promises

Your belief in your partner’s promises and subsequent follow-through is what sustains trust in your relationship. But trust does not come automatically, it must be earned. Don’t make the mistake of promising too much too soon. If you agree to do something, but can’t keep your word, it will only make things worse between the two of you. Take on smaller commitments in the beginning, and as the trust grows, you can start making bigger promises. This will help keep the trust alive in your relationship.

Be supportive and dependable

Being supportive is key to establishing a healthy and fruitful relationship. When you support your partner, they will not hesitate to try new things because they know that they can fall back on your support. On the other hand, if your partner is unwilling to take a risk or afraid to make a mistake fearing it might ruin the relationship, it means they can’t depend on you or trust you to be there for them. Being there for your partner is essential in a union. Not only does this give them confidence but also lets them know that they can rely on you in their time of need.

Have clear boundaries and expectations

It is one thing to love your partner, another to interfere in their affairs. Respecting boundaries is important in keeping a relationship healthy. If your partner calls your rules silly or says that you’re asking for too much, then you need to let them know in clear terms that this is what you expect from them. When you are open and honest about what you want and what you don’t, it leaves no room for doubt. Your partner will know what is expected of them and hence will not disrespect your boundaries. At the same time, this will improve the understanding between the two of you, which will help build trust in your relationship.

Respect each other

No relationship can thrive or even survive if the partners don’t respect each other. When you respect your partner, even if you disagree with them, you will value their autonomy and let them be. Unfortunately, most of the time, when you are with someone for a long time, you tend to take them for granted. For example, many partners tend to lash out at their loved ones during arguments. This does nothing but increases the friction between them and their relationship suffers as a result. If you want to keep your relationship healthy, you need to respect your partner. It’s simple really, you can’t trust someone you don’t respect.

Spend more quality time together

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your partner without interruptions and distractions. Avoid scrolling through your Facebook timeline or messaging friends while you are enjoying a night out with your significant other. It is a great chance for you both to come together and have honest, open conversations. This will help build intimacy and trust in your relationship. You can try new things together such as learning a new instrument together, going to dance classes for couples, or even scuba diving if you both have a taste for adventure. Engaging in fun-filled and creative activities together encourages partners to rely on each other for emotional and physical support, which in turn, can help build a strong trust in a relationship.

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