How to control anger might be one of the key things that stand between us and our pursuit of happiness. We encounter many situations where just another disagreement snowballs into a heated argument. Often, situations or people make us angry and it becomes difficult to keep calm. Maybe we remain silent, vent or find it difficult not to scream.So what is the right way to channelise anger? Because if not channelised, anger can prove to be destructive. Acts we do in a fit of anger often lead to escalations that go beyond our control.
While anger is one of the most natural human emotions, it is really difficult to manage it. When anger spirals, it leads to a loss of wisdom and consequently, poor decision making. It even impacts our daily chores. It sours our solid relationships. If anger is not managed well, it has an adverse effect on our blood pressure, stress levels and general wellbeing. In short, we do not end up happy.
While it is difficult to avoid getting angry, keeping a few things in mind help in controlling the more devastating effects of anger. Interestingly, as much as there are dos, there are donts that you have to adhere to when angry. To not escalate anger into an uncontrollable outflow, it is important to consciously not do certain things.
Soulveda lists 5 things that you should never do when angry.
Do not plunge into arguments
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson, the famous American poet and philosopher. Getting into an argument when angry seems to be the easiest way to go. But arguments lead to even more escalation of the issue at hand. Often, in the heat and flow of things, people end up saying or hearing words which hit hard. It’s a spiral that keeps producing more anger.
Continuing to speak when things are going haywire due to anger is how we end up regretting the most. Since the mind loses its rational power, we say things that we might not even mean. But it makes the other person lose trust in us in the long run and that’s a real dampener.
This is why it makes sense to step away from the place of provocation for a while. If one is anticipating that the situation may catapult into a more serious kind, one must move away. Go for a walk, tune into some music or simply try deep breathing. This ‘cooling off’ period might just be for a few minutes or for a few days but it is essential; it is the time one takes to come back to a mature and calm conversation-like situation again. By doing so, we become ready to talk it out more mindfully, without any assumptions. And we may even get rewarded with uninterrupted listening and a resolution too.
Do not hit the bed angry
Type ‘never’ in Google and the first and the fastest result it shows is ‘never go to bed angry’! A study conducted in 2016 concluded that sleeping with a simmering issue leads to storing up of the event with negative memories associated to it. Dwelling on an issue that has lead to you being angry makes the entire sequence of events negative in the bigger picture.
While sleep is the way to calm our physically and mentally exhausted body and mind, doing so without resolving an issue keeps the frayed nerves taut, ready to bother you the minute you wake up. You start another day with a bad mood and a not so positive mindset. Another day gets spoiled, which could have otherwise been a day of immense possibilities.
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