Depression in girls is more common than we think. Here is how we can help them cope

We all know and love Lili Pauline Reinhart for her role as Betty Cooper in the hit Netflix series Riverdale. On screen, she appears confident, composed and strong. But behind the fame and success lies a story not many people know about.

Long before she became a household name, Reinhart was a young girl struggling with depression. In fact, she has openly shared about her mental health challenges and how they began when she was only 14 years old.

According to her, things didn’t go as planned when she moved to Los Angeles to follow her dream of becoming an actor. Roles were hard to come by, financial stress kept mounting and uncertainty took a toll on her wellbeing. She has spoken about how watching her savings disappear while waiting for auditions left her anxious, hopeless and unhappy. It was one of the most difficult periods of her life.

While Reinhart’s story received a spotlight owing to her eventual fame, there are countless young girls going through similar struggles without being seen or heard. In fact, depression among young girls is more common than we think.

On a global level, the World Health Organisation reports that one in seven adolescents between the ages of 10 and 19 experiences a mental disorder. Further, according to a study published by the US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, more than half of the teenage girls in the US reported feeling persistently hopeless in 2021. In 2023, the numbers came down only slightly, from 57% to 53%. These numbers inform us that depression in girls is not rare, nor is it a phase that can be ignored.

Brain scans tell us that girls mature sooner than boys in the context of emotional recognition. This maturity also tends to make them more vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Common signs of depression include feeling sad or withdrawn most of the time, loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, changes in sleep or appetite, low energy, irritability and feelings of worthlessness. Many young girls carry this emotional pain quietly, unsure of how to express or ask for help. As parents and guardians, recognising the signs and offering support can make a powerful difference.

So, join us as we explore how to help girls cope, heal and feel less alone.

Listen without judgment

One of the nicest things one can do for a girl struggling with depression is to simply listen. It has been seen that many young girls hesitate to talk about their feelings because they fear being judged, dismissed or misunderstood. Giving them space to speak openly without being interrupted or offering them sound advice helps them feel seen, heard and respected.

Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares can bring comfort. As American writer and civil rights activist James Arthur Baldwin once said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” Listening with empathy helps girls feel safe enough to face any challenge they are going through. And taking things head on is often the first step towards healing of any kind.

Encourage open conversations

Many girls grow up hearing things like they need to be strong for others, that they shouldn’t  make a fuss about anything, that they should move on from tough situations quickly. Being conditioned in this manner can make them bottle up their emotions more often than not. And being silent when they need to speak out or vent can turn their sadness or loneliness into something much worse.

Encouraging teenagers, especially our girls, to be able to talk openly about their feelings, be it sadness, anger, fear or confusion, helps them understand that their emotions are valid. As Michael Kardas, PhD, assistant professor of management at Oklahoma State University’s Spears School of Business states, “People’s wellbeing is determined in large part by the quality of their social relationships, which rely heavily on conversations that they have with each other…Going a little deeper in conversation as well as learning to navigate disagreements can create the kinds of connections that leave people feeling happier.”

Help them build healthy daily routines

One of the first things that comes to note when one is going through depression is withdrawal. A great signal is how young girls become disinterested in routine or things they usually love.

Enabling our girls to have a simplistic daily routine can bring comfort and structure when emotions tend to overwhelm. Getting regular sleep, having balanced meals, exercising and taking breaks from the screen can support one’s mental health greatly. The key is to focus on small doable habits instead of trying to change everything at once.

Douglas Noordsy, clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine vouches for lifestyle changes and their positive effect on mental health. Noordsy  explains that many people want a sense of control in their journey and being supported in finding habits that help them make them feel better. In fact, evidence-based lifestyle changes like better nutrition and exercise can make all the difference.

Support them in seeking professional help

This may come as a surprise but sometimes, receiving care and understanding from loved ones may not be enough to heal from mental health struggles. Professional support such as therapy or counselling can offer better guidance and provide proper tools that cope with depression in a manner a friendly or loving word often cannot.

So, we must encourage our girls to seek out help without fear or shame. We must remind them that asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. And a trained professional can help them make sense of their emotions when words of near and dear ones might fail. In such scenarios, professional help is akin to the light that guides one towards hope, healing and overall wellbeing.

Remind them of their worth

Depression tends to make the person going through it feel invisible and unimportant. And when it is a young girl suffering from it, the feeling can be much more intense. She may constantly fight thoughts like she is not good enough, that she doesn’t deserve disrespect. It becomes doubly important then to remind her who she is beyond her grades, appearances or achievements.

We must learn to regularly celebrate their little wins, efforts and qualities such as creativity, honesty and empathy. These reminders help teenagers build self-belief and have hope during difficult moments. As Gautam Buddha once stated, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Helping young girls see their own worth can be a powerful step towards their healing and becoming the best version of themselves.

While depression in girls is common, it is also manageable with care and compassion. When girls are supported with patience, understanding and the right resources, they learn to cope, grow and heal. Creating a safe space for them, encouraging honest conversations and reminding them that they are not alone can truly change lives. As Albus Dumbledore, the wonderful headmaster of Hogwarts, says in the book Harry Potter, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”