It is about creating a bond that is real and original. “There are people who interact with a lot of others at work or in a social setting, but they are still lonely, because they don’t connect with anyone,” Dr Patulny says. “The number of friends you have is irrelevant; what matters is the quality rather than the quantity.” Dr Patulny is right. Today, people are so busy living their digital lives, especially millennials, that they are forgetting the importance of creating meaningful bonds in the real one. Just check any café, subway, bus, or a park. People are sitting a few inches away from each other, but their heads are sunk in their smartphones. Such scenes speak of a telling tale about our society — that we have come a long way in establishing ourselves as an advanced and tech-savvy species, but in doing so, we may have forgotten the meaning of ‘connecting with each other’.
Hence, the prevailing sense of loneliness. Some people assume money can wipe that feeling away. That’s a myth! Money can’t buy happiness nor alleviate loneliness. A homeless guy and a King living in his castle can both suffer from isolation. Take Elvis Presley for an example. He was the King of Rock and Roll, everyone loved him for his vocals, his style and his fashion sense. He had the money to buy him anything he wanted. Yet, he was also one of the first pop singers to write songs about being lonesome and feeling that emptiness—I’m so lonesome I could cry and Lonely Man. In keeping with Aristotle’s theory of mimesis that art imitates life, it isn’t hard to imagine where Elvis drew inspiration from for those heartrending lyrics—his loneliness. “I swear to God, no one knows how lonely I get. And how empty I really feel,” said Elvis, in his biography Careless Love: The Unmaking of Elvis Presley by Peter Guralnick. Even he yearned for something more meaningful in life. Maybe an unbreakable bond with someone, like what he had with the music.
It can take a lifetime to understand what life is or how to live it fully in each moment. But what obvious is that loneliness springs from emptiness. And where emptiness lies, there is always an opportunity to add new things. We can fill that empty space with hobbies, aspirations, dreams, a cat, a dog, anything that makes us happy. Loneliness can open doors for self-assessment, positive changes, and the right decisions. It can show us what we could be missing in our lives.
You could take some time out to assess what you are looking for or whether you are afraid of being lonely, to begin with. After all, it is a human condition. You can either allow loneliness to overpower your souls or choose to cultivate it and allow the soul to grow. The choice is yours.