When things become difficult, emotions such as anger, frustration and emptiness can takeover and makes us miserable. We are left wondering if there is a way to unload the baggage weighing us down. In such situations, we reach out to our friends and loved ones to relieve ourselves of the pent-up emotions. However, while sharing our pain, sometimes we forget about the person sitting in front of us. Without giving a second thought, we spew all of our resentment onto them, which leaves them feeling exhausted. This coping mechanism is known as emotional dumping.
Unlike healthy venting where you express your thoughts and feelings in a considerate manner, emotional dumping is done without paying heed to the mental state of the other person. As they could be unprepared for an emotional conversation, handling traumatic thoughts, feelings and energy become incredibly difficult for them. While you may feel better afterwards, the person on the other end may feel as if the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and author of The Empath Survival Guide told USA Today, “people may feel better after trauma dumping, but the person they dump it onto feels horrible.”
Emotional dumping exudes from a victim mindset. It involves blaming others without taking any accountability for your actions. If you remain indifferent, this habit can wreck your relationships beyond repair. However, this is not to say, you should not express your feelings. Venting is fine as long as it is not at the cost of others’ wellbeing. The trick lies in knowing how to vent in a healthy fashion. To make things easier, here are a few strategies that can help you dump the habit of emotional dumping.
Figure out what’s troubling you
Get to the bottom of whatever it is that is making you feel stressed or overwhelmed. But first, you need to be patient and let your anger subside. When you do that, it becomes easier to identify the problem. Once this is done, you won’t have the urge to rant. You can reach out to your friends or your partner and discuss the issue with a sense of awareness. This will not only help you get rid of your troubling thoughts but also maintain your relationships with them.
Keep a journal
As opposed to popular opinion, you don’t necessarily need another person to vent. Journaling is an effective way to curb the habit of emotional dumping. You can pen down all your troubling thoughts instead of bottling them up inside you. Writing down how you feel can also help you figure out what’s exactly that is bothering you. And you can come up with an appropriate response to deal with the issue. Moreover, keeping a journal can improve your mood by helping you prioritise your problems, fears and concerns.
Emotional dumping refers to the act of unloading one’s emotional burden onto another person without considering their mental state. It can be detrimental to relationships, leaving the other person feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and burdened.
Journaling provides a healthy outlet for expressing emotions and thoughts without burdening others.
Practicing mindfulness can help individuals manage negative emotions, such as anger and resentment, by cultivating a mentally clear and emotionally calm state of mind.
Seeking permission before venting allows individuals to respect the boundaries and mental well-being of others.
Seeking professional help such as therapy, can be beneficial when deep-rooted issues persist or when closure and guidance are needed.
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