Being in a rut can have you running on empty, leaving behind a trail of hopelessness, defeat, or worse, complacence. Or so they say. But can there be any good in that rut? It is like asking if there can be any good in evil. The wise say yes, of course. They also say adversity is the mother of triumph. History has it that the greatest tragedies have led to the most glorious of fortunes. Rut isn’t any different. Being stuck in a rut is almost like a rite of passage”•one that has the potential of carrying us from agony to indestructible happiness. But how do we lead ourselves to that elusive ray of hope on the other side of the tunnel? Soulveda set out on this quest. And, the answers were found in an enlightening, and a rather reassuring conversation with UK-based self-development expert Becky Walsh. Excerpts from an exclusive one-on-one interview:
How would you describe what you do for a living?
I would say I’m a catalyst, an intuitive catalyst. I help people come up with ideas. I help them become unstuck because I believe ‘stuck’ is a holding point while you’re waiting for more information and once you’ve got that information you are free to have an idea that is actually going to inspire your life and move you forward. And so that’s how I describe what I do for a living. Of course, on top of that I outreach all of this into writing books, public speaking, doing stand-up comedy, creating films, TV and radio shows–all of it underneath one umbrella.
In the context of self-help, what is the specific area you work with?
Well, in the context of self-help, I use intuition as a tool to teach people how to make themselves unstuck because intuition really is one of the greatest ways in which we can unstick the ‘ego mind’ because the ego mind always thinks in circles. It is the left hemisphere of the brain. The right hemisphere of the brain is about ideas, creativity, what’s next.
When did you take off on this journey?
To be honest, I think my whole life. When I was at school, lots of people used to come to me for advice and opinion. I fancy this boy. Does he fancy me? All that kind of thing and when I worked as a stage manager in theatre, a lot of these skills were needed to help some insecure actors and performers that were struggling on stage and it seemed to be something I just did randomly. So a lot of my relationships were with men who needed help. I guess, it’s who I am and not just what I do.
What would your advice be to someone who is stuck in a rut?
I’d say that ‘stuck in a rut’ usually means you keep coming up to the end of your comfort zone, retreating to where you were. For me it’s to imagine what a person’s life would be like if they weren’t stuck because sometimes ‘stuck’ is because of lack of imagination. So it’s to imagine if I had a magic wand and I could change anything in your life and you could recreate it. And I can usually tell if somebody is going to be open to look outside of themselves. If they’re not, then I ask another question which is if you could do anything with your mind and you couldn’t possibly fail and it didn’t rely on money but you could just spend one day doing it, how would you spend that day? The indication of how they would spend that day is very interesting. Sometimes it’s easy for people to imagine what they would do with the day than what they would do with their lives. So for some people it could be I would be on a raft-hut on the river Kwai, resting. This could tell you the reason why they are stuck. Maybe because they are exhausted and procrastination can also be a tool from your body saying rest, you’re exhausted. So, you can intuitively pick up quite a lot just from asking one question. That’s how I advise people to imagine themselves outside of ‘stuck’ and work backwards from the end place to where you are now.
“The more you love yourself, the more you propagate happiness and the more you propagate gratitude, the happier you are with what you’ve got.”