The first love is always very ecstatic because that is the first illusion. Next time you are a little more mature, it can’t be the same. The third time you know all the inside and the outside. So, one goes on thinking: maybe it was the person that was the reason. It is not.
If you move into relationship with him again you will be disillusioned. It will not bring that magic again. The first love has a magic which the second love cannot have. And even if you remain with the lover, then too that magic disappears.
These are all illusions – beautiful illusions, sweet dreams, but dreams all the same. One has to become grown-up, and one grows only by experiencing frustrations. One tie is broken, then another tie is broken. It hurts. One feels very angry, in a rage, but slowly, slowly one comes to understand that all toys will be taken away. This is the way of growth. A day comes, when you can live without illusions, when you can live without magic, when you can live quietly, silently, with no hankering for any excitement. And then a totally different kind of life starts growing in you. That life has value and truth.
These affairs of love, relationships, are good, but they must go. I am not against them – when I call them illusions, I am not saying that I am against them. I am all for them because you can grow only by going through those illusions. You can grow only through frustrations, there is no other way to growth. Each success and each failure contribute to growth. Failure contributes more than success because success can go on nurturing the illusion; failure simply opens your eyes to the reality. The mind does not want to see the reality, so it goes on weaving new dreams. Now the mind is thinking ‘Maybe we are soul mates.’ Nobody is! But truth is very hurtful, that’s why people don’t like it. People like to live in illusions; they like their illusions to be enhanced, supported.
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