Deep dive into your heart to realize your relationships

First love or first illusion

Failure contributes more than success because success can go on nurturing the illusion; failure simply opens your eyes to the reality.

The first love is always very ecstatic because that is the first illusion. Next time you are a little more mature, it can’t be the same. The third time you know all the inside and the outside. So, one goes on thinking: maybe it was the person that was the reason. It is not.

If you move into relationship with him again you will be disillusioned. It will not bring that magic again. The first love has a magic which the second love cannot have. And even if you remain with the lover, then too that magic disappears.

These are all illusions – beautiful illusions, sweet dreams, but dreams all the same. One has to become grown-up, and one grows only by experiencing frustrations. One tie is broken, then another tie is broken. It hurts. One feels very angry, in a rage, but slowly, slowly one comes to understand that all toys will be taken away. This is the way of growth. A day comes, when you can live without illusions, when you can live without magic, when you can live quietly, silently, with no hankering for any excitement. And then a totally different kind of life starts growing in you. That life has value and truth.

These affairs of love, relationships, are good, but they must go. I am not against them – when I call them illusions, I am not saying that I am against them. I am all for them because you can grow only by going through those illusions. You can grow only through frustrations, there is no other way to growth. Each success and each failure contribute to growth. Failure contributes more than success because success can go on nurturing the illusion; failure simply opens your eyes to the reality. The mind does not want to see the reality, so it goes on weaving new dreams. Now the mind is thinking ‘Maybe we are soul mates.’ Nobody is! But truth is very hurtful, that’s why people don’t like it. People like to live in illusions; they like their illusions to be enhanced, supported.

Just look deep down in your heart: you want your illusion to be supported, you want me to support it and feed it and nourish and mother it. But I cannot do that. And you don’t need it anymore. When I see that somebody needs it, I support it. I support it and go on supporting it till I come to the point where I know that it can be shattered. Your time has come it has to be shattered – no more illusions. And there is a kind of love that arises when all illusions have disappeared, and that I call true love. All except that love is just childish… what you call ‘puppy love’. You can grow now, or you can get back into the vicious circle again. And that has been your effort: you have been moving with people, searching for that ecstasy. It is not going to come.

That illusion will never come back. And don’t think that it is something unfortunate. One must go beyond it. There is other magic to know. Love is a very biological magic, hormonal, chemical. Just by injecting chemicals that magic can be enhanced, induced; many things can be done to the magic. It is not very spiritual or very significant. Search. Other magic is there. That’s what I am trying to make available to you here: other magic. And there is a magic that comes through truth. Only that is lasting, only that is eternal.

Abridged from Let go! by Osho




Your wellbeing is a few clicks away.

Subscribe to your weekly dose of positivity, wellness, and motivation and get a free printable
Soulveda Gratitude journal