In this ever rushing age, it is very easy to feel low. Many are even depressed. I call the 21st century the age of depression. In India about 36% are depressed. People don’t accept it. When I talk about symptoms of depression in my shows they realize that they are depressed. Else they were thinking that these symptoms are normal. I then realized that some simple and practical tips are required to feel great in adverse circumstances.
What’s life?
Your perspective towards life will give you the answer. Here I have listed a few perspectives. These can indeed make you feel great and enjoy irrespective of what happens in your life.
Life is a game
Many things happen in a game. But still we enjoy it. Once a very rich man’s young son died in an accident. He decided to make a football ground in his son’s remembrance. He invited his father for the inauguration of the ground. The old man who had never watched football before watched players play on the ground. He did not understand why everybody was running behind the ball and then kicking it. After the game was over he was asked how the match was. He said ‘son you spent so much to make this ground. You could have spent a little more and brought a ball for each of the players. They would not fight over one ball’. He didn’t realize that this is the game. Remember whatever is happening, it’s only game.
Even if you find yourself extremely tired physically or mentally remember it is a game. Most of the times when students are back home from college they are tired and not willing to study. But if they are told to play a game they have all the energy. So, the key is the approach.
Lift is a Picnic
Suppose a group of people are told to drive and go to a city which is 200 km away. The one who comes first will be awarded. What happens then? Everybody is tensed and there is a hurry to race. Now, if they are told that let’s go for a picnic in a bus what will happen. They will play, sing songs, start joking, dance in the bus etc.
What was the difference? Only in the approach. If you consider life to be a competition then there are problems. You are stressed, have get migraine, heart disease etc. If you consider life as a picnic you can enjoy. Keep telling yourself that life is picnic, I am here to enjoy.
Life is a Choice
One morning I found my specs were broken. I had two choices. One was to feel miserable as I could not read, write or make my presentations. The other was to relax. Very rarely I get such a chance when I don’t have to read or make slides. So, I as well enjoy this moment.
Ask yourself these questions
What will give me peace?
What will give me relaxation?
What will make me feel good in spite of the situation being adverse?
You might have a tendency to feel low but then tell yourself, you have a choice. Focus on choosing right. Here is an article on how to think right in situations.
Inside Out Approach
A man just needs 3 meals a day and a small house to sleep. We all have these. Our basic needs are met. You don’t need to worry. Whatever you have beyond it is comfort. Nothing wrong in having it but worrying about it does not help.
Suppose you are shown two boxes weighing 1 kilo each. The first one is made of iron and the second one of gold. Which one will you pick? Now if you are told that the iron box had diamonds worth five million and the gold box has copper inside which one will you choose?
Today people do many things that are superficial. These might give them temporary pleasure. But they are like the gold boxes. However, the real treasure of life lies in the iron box. Learn to see yourself inside. Have an inside-out approach. To lead a fulfilling life work on inner contentment and peace.
There is a very good example of a hammer and key. Hammer said ‘I am so strong. I give powerful strokes. But I am still not able to open a lock. You are so small and without any strength, yet you are able to open the lock’. Key replied ‘you are trying with a lot of force from outside. I go inside and give a gentle right turn and the lock opens’. This is the key to ‘feeling great no matter what’.
Even judge other people from inside. I tell the youth of today that even if you marry Miss India in a year’s time you will lose interest in her. Because you are seeing the same face every day. What gives long-term happiness is understanding, love, care, adjustment and many such inner factors.
While working with colleagues too don’t judge from outside. Try to see their thoughts and values. Having this little wisdom helps to have a sense of fulfillment.
It is now very well accepted that IQ is not important. Something more important is EQ. It is that said because of IQ, you are hired and because of lack of EQ, you are fired. Because of EQ, you get promoted but you need SQ to be satisfied. To fill the vacuum within spiritual intelligence is needed.
Change your thoughts
In this world where uncertainty prevails, it is important not to get disturbed by surprises. If you are told to leave the company where you work in a month you can either let uncertainty bother you or focus on improving your skills. One of my friends was one day told to leave the company. He was disappointment as he is a very hard working person. He was now told that he is no longer needed. In a depressed state of mind when he was not sure what to do he decided to start his own business with the experience he has. Today, he has an export business and is one of the top exporters in Kolkata. Today he says that what happened to him was good else he would have spent his entire life in that company. So, whatever happens just change your thoughts.
For better relationships, change yourself
If we wish to have harmonious relations with others, we need to resolve in our minds to change ourselves – our perspective, attitude, and behaviour – in order to adapt to any situation. When we change, our world will change.
The formal education we receive, unfortunately, does not make us humble, but instead fosters our ego. This has become a major cause of broken relationships. When there is a difference of opinion or conflict between two people, both blame the other and neither is willing to back down or compromise in any way. This widens the rift and the two drift apart.
Maturity in relationships calls for understanding others and behaving appropriately in the best interest of all involved. This may require me to keep quiet, not respond to provocation, and have the wisdom and patience to give others time and space to make considered choices that will strengthen the relationship.
The conviction of being right often makes us rigid and inconsiderate, stopping us from accepting another’s point of view or giving them any leeway. This can cause a lot of sorrow and distance us from many people. Even if we are right, a little flexibility and kindness on our part will create confidence in others and make our interactions easier and less stressful.
Are we aware of the kind of atmosphere we have created at home with our attitude and behaviour? If there is stress or irritation in the air, can anyone there feel happy? Creating a happy environment where I live is simply a matter of remaining light and cheerful.
One more reason for conflict in relationships is expectations. We want others to live according to our wishes. We seek respect, cooperation, and support, without actually saying so. When these expectations are not met, the result is dejection, bitterness and anger.
Most people today are empty within and in no position to give anything. They themselves yearn for what we hope to get from them. The better way is to give rather than try to get anything from others. It is a spiritual law that what you share will come back to you multiplied several times over. Start giving love and respect, and you will never again crave for them.
Finally, another truth worth remembering is that we will be treated the way we treat others. So it is best to live by the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Comments