Everyone needs space

Self-contemplation: Everyone needs space

People play their roles according to their own beliefs and understanding, explains BK Sis Padmapriya
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There is work space, home space, storage space, parking space and many others. We allocate space for physical materials and tasks in our life. But do we give space to a person? In other words, do I give space to other person’s thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, wishes? Which means do I accept people as they are or am I always critical or judgemental about others?

Do I allow them to be what they are?

We all are actors and each one of us has a role to play. Good or bad, we all have a script. Each script is unique and the whole life revolves around this script. When I tend to interfere in or get annoyed at someone’s script i.e. their behaviour, then I am not giving them space to play their script. Script covers one’s habits, personality traits, recorded patterns, nature, behaviour, attitude, idea, opinion and belief system. For example: A carpenter needs his space to create something with his logs of wood and tools. If he is not given his space, he will still work but his work will not be efficient.

Giving space for one’s task

Say, you have to bake a cake, you found your recipe and your work is in progress. Your script is set on baking now. But if people around you are constantly commenting on the way you bake, giving you corrections and ideas, will you be able to finish your baking? No, and even if you do so, you would feel that you didn’t get your space to work and next time you make sure that there is no one in the house when you bake the cake. We expect our space; similarly, I should also give space and not interfere/comment/push other.

Each tree takes its own time to grow. A rose plant might grow quicker than a coconut tree. Likewise, one can take longer time to finish a task than the other. I should just learn to give them their space rather than getting annoyed or irritated or trying to be bossy.

Giving space for one’s behaviour

People play their roles according to their own beliefs and understanding. They write their own script. Our job is to focus on our roles rather than being caught up in others’ scripts. However, that is hardly the case. As we interact with people, there is a background judgement going on in our head. This is called interference. I not only question but get affected by others’ roles and blame the person and their script. The moment I think “why this person is talking to me like this”, “how can he cut me off in the freeway”, “why didn’t she smile at me”, “how can they treat me like this”, “I deserve respect”, “I always end up waiting in the bank, the officers are not efficient”, “I helped so much but she didn’t even care”,” he is so mean”, “she is always late…” I am trying to control the other person’s script. For me, the right way is the way I wanted it to be.

I have to understand that people behave according to their judgement and feelings. I can only change and control my script and not that of others. Rather than raising questions and getting disturbed, I can accept them as they are and tune myself accordingly. Say, I am driving and when I see a stone in my way, I just turn my car in other direction. I do not stop the car and ask why the stone is here, who put it. Similarly, I work on myself to adjust myself with the person who is troubling me instead of blaming or becoming a victim.

I have the power to create and change. I can improvise on my role and be completely easy, cool, light, accepting and focused.

We have been living so far in our automatic mode i.e. there is no control on our emotions; they come and go as they wish. Rajyoga helps us to switch to manual mode where you can erase, write, develop and modify your script. Effort and attention is required in manual mode. I am consciously thinking and creating positive thoughts, teaching myself to distinguish good from bad. Once this process is completed, I can put myself in automatic mode of being peaceful, loving and happy without any effort.

As you read this, you may wish to rewrite not only your script but also change the way you play it out. Whenever I understand and realise something deeply, I get the power to do it. Didn’t Baba tell us that each one of us is a master creator?

By BK Sis Padmapriya

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