Yesterday was your wedding anniversary but it slipped your mind. Ridden with guilt, you planned a fancy dinner at your better half’s favourite restaurant. Unfortunately, you had to cancel it at the last minute because of an unavoidable work call. You got home, apologised again, but this time, the conversation turned into a heated argument opening the floodgates to complaints. “Why don’t you understand?” “You are always busy!” “You have changed!”
Issues from the past are dug out and hurled at each other. It is certainly not the first time when a disappointment has turned into a conflict. It is the fact that with each conflict the chasm between you and your partner grows bigger. Or so it feels.
Disappointments in a relationship can come in many forms. The important thing is to address them before they shapeshift into a conflict or something ugly. So, how can you deal with disappointments before they cripple your relationship? Relationship experts say most of the disappointments spring from unmet expectations and a lack of communication between partners. Those in steady and stable relationships testify that the maturity, understanding, and patience with which a couple handles the ebb and flow of their relationship determines its strength and longevity. Bringing these long-standing truths to the fore, Soulveda shares perspectives and actions that help deal with disappointments in relationships.
Keep the confrontational urge at bay
Confrontations, casual disagreements, and minor fights are a part and parcel of every relationship. According to social worker Sagaya Shanthi, “Confrontations are necessary. But it is vital to approach the topic in the right manner as an overtly aggressive confrontation can cause irreparable harm to your relationship.” So, when you feel disappointed by your partner’s behaviour, it’s best to discuss the issue and understand each other’s perspectives, instead of flying off the handle. Having a healthy dialogue will enable you to keep those unwanted emotions at bay before they do irreparable damage to your relationship. “A two-way dialogue can go a long way in saving your fractured relationship,” says counsellor Celine Suguna of Vimochana.