A relationship could also trigger our negative self. For instance, it could bring to the fore our doubts, jealousy, fears and insecurities—a darker side, which we hardly knew existed within us. As spiritual guru Osho explains, “When you are in a relationship, in a thousand and one ways, you are provoked, challenged, seduced. Again, and again, you come to know your pitfalls, your limitations, your anger, your lust, your possessiveness, your jealousy, your sadness, your happiness. All moods come and go, and you are constantly in turmoil.” Thus a relationship holds a mirror to us that reflects who we are in entirety—our good, bad and ugly sides.
Not all of us understand the profoundness of relationships. In fact, it may take us several failed relationships to even realise their spiritual importance. But eventually, when we do learn to see our own nature reflected through relationships, we become aware of our own follies, accept ourselves for who we are, and thereby, become more accepting of our partners as well. It’s only then that we realise that there are lessons to be learnt from every relationship and even see a failed relationship not as a mistake to regret, but as a treasure trove of important life lessons. Such experiences fuel our spiritual growth as we realise the power to be happy lies within us. We also understand that sharing our joy and happiness or empathising with others during their low phases and pulling them out of it with our positive energy can only lead to greater happiness.
Every relationship is akin to a shamanic journey with unexpected twists and turns along the way. Every partner could be viewed as a spiritual catalyst who tests us and helps us look inward to discover more of ourselves. Going by this logic, when the going gets tough in a relationship, it’s important to take a step back, analyse the root cause, and strive to find a solution by keeping the lessons learnt in mind. Struggles enrich the path we tread together. They even take relationships to a whole new spiritual level. As acclaimed author, Paul Ferrini writes in his book Creating a Spiritual Relationship, “We then experience a gentleness born out of a struggle, a sweetness born out of pain. There is a twinkle in the eye that meets beyond the gravity of desire. There is an inner knowingness of self, of other: a surrender into the heart of acceptance and love.”
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