As I sat in the corner of a café sipping cappuccino with my friends, something caught my attention. It was a poster of The Beatles’ song All you need is love. It was a nostalgic moment and at the same time it got me thinking if love alone was enough.
This train of thought took me to my teenage years when I spent days reading romantic novels by Nicholas Sparks. As I recalled some of those soft, lovelorn, leaving-you-weak-in-the-knees stories, one particular quote from The Notebook that hit home. “I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough…” As a young woman, I was so inspired by this thought that I truly started believing love could move mountains. It was the magic potion for all of life’s problems. Love was all you needed. It was in history books, in the movies and in the songs. Love was everywhere. Reminiscing about it brought a smile to my face like a rainbow on a cloudy day.
Until recently, when my friend Ria broke up with her partner of 10 years. Childhood sweethearts, they fit like two pieces of a puzzle–the ‘ideal couple’ I looked up to. They loved each other madly, yet it all came crashing down like a house of cards.
It is a wonderful feeling to be in love, but it is a part of a whole, not the whole itself. We overestimate the power of love and set unrealistic expectations. This, obviously sabotages the relationship we hold so dear
You could be in love with an overtly possessive person and the two of you could still make it work because you are agreeable on different levels.