Love is believed to happen at first sight. Glances are exchanged across the hall and butterflies felt in the stomach. Conversations laced with the sweet nervousness ensue, paving the way for tentative courtship. With time, the individuals get more comfortable around each other and a friendship develops between them. They express their thoughts, feelings and opinions to each other, and take an interest in what the other has to say. Indeed, mental attraction, besides physical attraction, is often considered a prerequisite for sustaining any romantic relationship. This Valentine’s Day, Soulveda explores the concept of mental attraction and its role in romantic relationships.
For two people to share a mental attraction, they need to look beyond the physical attributes and regard each other on a deeper level. How can we tell if we are attracted to someone for their mind? According to psychologist Vani Subramanian, we will know there is a definite spark when we are attracted to their mindset, and their level of thinking and being, rather than their physical attractiveness alone. Such an attraction will be based on appreciation for the other person’s knowledge, maturity, compassion, and other such qualities.
When two individuals match on such profound levels, their relationship can turn out to be healthy, fulfilling, and lasting. Subramanian further explains, “Relationships serve several needs, physical intimacy being just one. Companionship and security require a certain level of maturity and compatibility that can only be found if two individuals share the same wavelength.” Indeed, when two individuals think and emote on the same levels, there will be less room for conflict.
While both mental and physical attraction are important for a satisfactory relationship, what may help keep the flame alive is emotional compatibility between the individuals. After all, when the chips are down, we all need someone who can understand and support us.