New dad, we see you: Signs to watch out for postpartum depression in fathers

I clearly remember the summer of 1995 because it was the year I had met Akash for the first time. It was during our summer holidays when all the cousins, aunts and uncles gathered at my grandmother’s home in Mangalore. The house was full of laughter and the chatter of cousins was running wild. But what stood out the most from that summer was the joy that Akash brought. The son of a family friend, Akash was much older than the rest of us, but he mingled effortlessly. He was the kind of person who got along with everyone, whether it was playing with us in the garden, helping the elders or making the tiny ones giggle. He had a quiet charm and a special way with children.

Years later, we met him again at our grandmother’s home. Married and a new dad this time, we were thrilled to meet a new version of our old friend. But something felt different when we did see him. He was not the cheerful guy we remembered. Over conversation, he admitted that the early days of parenting had been tough for him, mentally and emotionally. It was not the way he had imagined. We were unable to absorb the harsh reality he was trying to tell us. In fact, to us, if anyone was meant for fatherhood, it seemed to be him.

Unfortunately enough, he is not alone in this silent struggle. Estimates say that 1 in 10 new dads experience depression and anxiety after their child’s birth. Postpartum depression in men can appear during the partner’s pregnancy or within the first year after the baby is born. While we often focus on the  wellbeing of new mothers, what a lot of us don’t realise is that fathers also go through deep emotional challenges that anyone rarely speaks about.

International Father’s Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of June. It is a day to honour fathers, father figures and celebrate all the love and support they bring into our lives. But beyond the cards and gifts, it is also a chance to check in with fathers around us, to listen and acknowledge their struggles and also remind them that it’s okay to ask for help if need be. On this day, join us as we explore the signs of depression to watch out for in new dads.

Changes in mood

One of the first signs to watch out for in new dads is changes in mood. When we think of depression, we often picture someone feeling sad or withdrawn. But it can show up differently too; through irritability, frustration, even sadness or anger. A man, who was once calm and patient, could suddenly start losing his temper quickly, snapping at loved ones and feeling constantly annoyed for no clear reason.

Research shows that, men often express emotional distress through anger or irritability instead of sadness. A study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, found that fathers with postpartum depression were more likely to report anger and restlessness rather than traditional signs of having a low mood. This shift in mood can be confusing for both the father and those around him.

So, it is important to note these signs because they might be a way of coping with inner struggles. Families recognising these changes on time can be truly beneficial—as simply observing effectively can be the first step towards helping new dads feel seen and supported.

Withdrawal symptoms aplenty

Another common but often overlooked sign of depression in new fathers is emotional withdrawal. A man who was once engaged and lively may start to seem distant, quiet or disconnected from family, friends and even his baby after becoming a father. He might stop taking part in conversations, avoid social gatherings and might want to spend time alone. This withdrawal is not about needing space, it can be a way of dealing with guilt or sadness.

Television personality Leroy Garrett opened up about his own experience with this feeling. “I really didn’t recognize it at first,” Garrett said. “I remember my mood would always just be low … and I had a feeling of just like worthlessness and guilt as well, because I felt like this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life. I was having doubts of, ‘Should I have had a kid?’” His words show us what many new fathers go through—isolation, shame and confusion during a time that society expects to be joyful.

When these feelings go unnoticed, it can become harder for new dads to seek help. This is why it is crucial that family and friends keep a check and remind them that they are not alone.

Shift in sleeping, eating habits

Becoming a new parent naturally changes one’s sleep time and meal times, but when those changes become extreme, they could be signs of depression. Some new fathers may find it hard to fall asleep, even when the baby is resting. Others might take refuge in too much sleep to escape their hard feelings.

Similarly, their appetite might drop or increase along with how they feel. Remember, these aren’t just side effects of a busy parenting schedule, they can in fact be signs of emotional struggle. A study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that disrupted sleep and appetite were among the most common symptoms in new fathers experiencing depression. This is why it is important that family members, especially partners, pay close attention.

If a new dad is constantly exhausted or losing interest in eating or is overeating and that too with listlessness, it might be time to check in and help him if needed.

Trouble focusing or making decisions

Many new fathers with depression report feeling mentally foggy. They may find it harder than usual to concentrate. They might forget simple things or even struggle to make everyday decisions. This can further affect their ability to work, connect with loved ones or even take care of their baby confidently.

American journalist Peter Saalfield has openly spoken about his struggle with postpartum depression after the birth of his first child. He elaborated on the emotional fog, self-doubt and a sense of deep self-loathing that he experienced. His example tells us how mental clarity among new dads can suffer deeply during this time and how important it is for family members  to pay attention.

So, if a new dad seems unusually distracted or overwhelmed by decisions, it can be a sign that he is struggling with depression.

Headaches and fatigue

Many new fathers experiencing postpartum depression report physical symptoms such as persistent headaches, general body aches and overwhelming fatigue. These signs can often be just as intense and even more telling than emotional symptoms. A study published in PubMed found that 13.2% of postpartum mothers reported headaches, with higher rates among those screening positive for depression. This highlights the link between physical discomfort and emotional distress. This is why it’s important to watch closely and check in regularly with new dads as well. Sometimes, it’s the people around who notice the changes first and can offer support timely.

Postpartum depression is not just something new mothers face, many new fathers silently struggle as well. Their hardship can show up in many different ways, such as irritability, withdrawal, changes in sleep, appetite and even physical pain. Because the signs are often overlooked, men pass them off or suffer in silence. But acknowledging these signs, supporting them, showing empathy and early intervention can make a big difference in their wellbeing, and by extension, in their family’s wellbeing.