Start the Conversation Day: Don’t suffer in silence, learn to talk about mental health

I still think about those early days in college. I had moved from a small town in Coorg to Mysore, a big city, with my heart thumping with excitement and hope. College life, mostly regarded as a fun stage in everyone’s life, thrilled me as well. I was eager to live this dream. But as days and weeks passed of my first year in college, the reality of staying away from my family and living in a hostel full of unfamiliar faces began to sink in.

The crowded campus began to feel overwhelming. Although everyone around me seemed happy to make new friends, I struggled. My introverted nature and difficulty to accept the grand changes of life did not allow me to enjoy my college days as I had hoped. Over time, my loneliness grew heavier and it impacted my grades. I felt unhappy all the time. Often, I would cry myself to sleep, wondering if I had made a mistake moving to a big city—missing my family, school friends and feeling lost in general. It wasn’t until months later that I finally decided to get help. I opened up to my sister about how I had been feeling. And this simple conversation put me on the path of getting better.

Talking about one’s mental health can seem like a hard thing to do. No matter who we choose as a confidant, be it a friend, a family member or someone we are comfortable with, accepting that something is affecting us can be difficult. We may fear being judged and misunderstood and worry that our pain may make others uncomfortable. But silence is never really a solution. As per the World Health Organization, nearly 50 million people in India dealt with mental health issues by the end of 2005. These numbers remind us of the urgent need to create safe spaces for honest conversations. Talking about mental health is not easy but required since it can be life changing.

Start the Conversation Day is observed on July 3rd every year. This day aims to encourage us to have honest conversations about our mental health. The goal is to break the stigma that surrounds mental health struggles. It encourages us to check in on family members and dear ones as well as be able to speak out ourselves if in need. So, let us explore some ways in which we can talk about our mental health.

Start simple, say “I need to talk”

“Emotional pain is not something that should be hidden away and never spoken about. There is truth in your pain, there is growth in your pain, but only if it’s first brought out into the open.” — Steven Aitchison. In this quote, English author Aitchison talks about how emotional pain needs to be acknowledged and not suppressed. It’s through expressing what we are feeling that we heal and grow.

Understandably, expressing our emotional challenges can feel extremely hard. However, it is important to remember that we don’t need to be perfect. Just saying “Can we talk for a few minutes, I am going through something.” is enough to gently nudge open the door of communication. This small but timely step lets one know that we are ready and need their attention and care.

We don’t need to share everything at once either; starting small is in fact, a powerful beginning.

Bring honesty to the fore

I remember a time when I was struggling emotionally to the extent that I had to open up to my family. My thoughts were messy and I could not point my finger at what exactly was bothering me. But I knew that I had to deal with it.

Experts explain that we don’t have to have all our thoughts fully sorted to be able to talk about them. We simply have to speak our truth; whether it is a colleague or a family member who we are comfortable with, just saying something simple but honest like, “I have been feeling low lately and I don’t even fully understand it myself.” can be enough. Being emotionally honest, even when our feelings are unclear, helps the other person know that something is going on, even if they understand only a little at first. Slowly but steadily, we can learn to communicate better and finally, get help from a suitable person or channel.