“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.” ― Sabaa Tahir. Every day, we experience moments that trigger a mix of emotions within us. Some are positive, others are negative. Naturally, we welcome positive emotions because they make us feel good. But when it comes to negative emotions, we rarely address them. As a matter of fact, we suppress them or allow them to get repressed.
To better understand what ‘suppression’ and ‘repression’ mean, let’s take an example: Say, you have a bad day at work, and later, at home, you get into an argument with your spouse. It is, indeed, a negative stimulus and so, the negative emotion of anger stirs up within. In response, you can react in three probable ways: One, you acknowledge your anger, and express it irrespective of how you are feeling. Two, sensing your rising anger, you suppress it through deep breathing. Three, you subconsciously repress your anger.
Studies show that the subconscious mind, sometimes, represses the surge of negative emotions because it perceives them as harmful to our emotional wellbeing. According to the study Repression: Finding Our Way in the Maze of Concepts published by the National Centre of Biotechnology Information: “Repressive-defensiveness is characterized by a non-conscious avoidance of threatening information.” And so, a person with repressive tendencies is likely to remain sociable and cheerful, who rarely complains about their misfortune. Their self-image too is positive. However, when such a person encounters someone who discusses an emotional problem, they are inclined to quickly change the subject in an attempt to avoid dealing with negative emotions.
So, what is the right way to handle negative emotions, given there are various ways to deal with them? Clinical psychologist Dr. Joy Bannerjee responds, “It is in our best interest to acknowledge our emotions and feel through them. The more we become receptive to a spectrum of emotions that surface from within us, the better we’d become, at not only acknowledging them but also at processing and expressing them.” When we shun negative emotions away—either by suppressing or repressing them, we only bury them alive. They fester until one day they emerge to cause greater damage.
The more we keep our repressed emotions buried, the more they surface. Letting them surface and airing them out is the only way to experience the much-needed catharsis.
The longer you keep negative emotions buried, the more intense they get.
Letting negative emotions surface and airing them out is the only way to experience catharsis.
Repressed emotions can deteriorate overall well-being, affect the immune system and may shorten lifespan.
Acknowledge them, write about them, and use them to fuel creativity.
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