Picture this. You had a rough day at work. You reach home and try to talk to your partner about that, hoping to be comforted. But to your surprise, when you share your feelings with them, they seem disinterested, and sometimes downright dismissive. You are not even sure that they are listening to you. Odd as it seems, you wonder what caused such a cold reaction. If such behaviour drags on for weeks or months, it may be a sign that your partner has become emotionally detached.
An emotionally detached person purposely seeks to avoid a situation or people that make them uncomfortable. According to Healthline, “emotional detachment is the inability or unwillingness to connect with other people on an emotional level.” Dealing with such individuals daily can be an uphill task, and if appropriate steps to address the problem are not taken on time, it can negatively impact relationships. Partners may end up feeling lonely and isolated from each other.
While the exact cause of emotional detachment is not yet known, many different reasons can cause a person to feel this way. It can be both voluntary and involuntary. For some, becoming emotionally numb is a choice as it helps them deal with stressful situations effectively. Since their emotions are not involved, they react in a calm and composed manner, which helps them avoid feelings of stress and anxiety. For others, emotional detachment may happen as a result of a traumatic experience, such as betrayal or the loss of a loved one. Such incidents can reshape a person’s expectations from others, making them emotionally detached to protect themselves from such painful situations.
If being emotionally detached is causing problems in your relationship, there are things that you can do about it. Let’s take a look.
Identify the triggers
Try to identify the situations that make you feel emotionally detached. You need to find out what’s causing you to react the way you do. Try to recognise the thoughts that come up in your mind when you are faced with a situation that could turn emotional. For example, when your partner expresses their feelings, do you pay attention or ignore them? If it’s the latter, try to recognise the triggers that make you walk away from the conversation or try to change the topic.
Emotional detachment is the inability or unwillingness to connect with others on an emotional level, leading to disinterest or dismissiveness in conversations and relationships.
Identifying triggers that cause emotional detachment is crucial. Recognize situations or thoughts that lead to distancing oneself emotionally, such as avoiding emotional conversations or changing topics.
Getting in touch with your feelings is essential. Try journaling to express your thoughts and gain acceptance of your emotions, helping you connect with yourself and others.
Partners can establish ground rules for communication, ensuring a safe space for open expression. Patience, positive affirmations, and couples counselling can also aid in coping with emotional detachment in relationships.
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