Everybody wants to be loved; that is the wrong beginning. It starts because the child, the small child, cannot love, cannot say anything, cannot do anything, cannot give anything; he can only get. A small child’s experience of love is of getting: getting from the mother, getting from the father, getting from brothers, sisters, getting from guests, strangers—but always getting. So the first experience that settles deep in his unconscious is that he has to get love. But the trouble arises because everybody has been a child, and everybody has the same urge to get love; nobody is born in any other way. So all are asking, “Give us love,” and there is nobody to give because the other person was also brought up in the same way.
So, one has to be alert and aware that just an incident of birth should not remain a constant prevailing state of your mind. Rather than asking, “Give me love,” start giving love…giving love is a really beautiful experience, because then you are an emperor. Getting love is a very small experience, and it is the experience of a beggar. Don’t be a beggar. At least as far as love is concerned, be an emperor, because it is an inexhaustible quality in you. Love is not a quantity; it is a quality, and a quality of a certain category that grows by giving and dies if you hold it. If you are miserly about it, it dies. So be really spendthrift. Don’t bother to whom—that is the idea of a miserly mind: I will give love to certain persons with certain qualities.
So the first secret is: don’t ask for it, and don’t wait, thinking that you will give if somebody asks you. Give it!
Just give your love to anybody—a stranger. It is not a question that you have to give something very valuable, just a helping hand and that will be enough. In twenty-four hours, whatever you do should be done with love, and the pain in your heart will disappear. And because you will be so loving, people will love you. It is a natural law. You get what you give. In fact, you get more than you give.