In a healthy relationship, one doesn’t undermine or demean their partner just to prove a point or win an argument. Nor does a partner use manipulation to dominate their relationship. However, this is not the case when you are in an unhealthy relationship. An unhealthy relationship can take a variety of forms. When your partner prioritises emotional control over everything else, including respect and trust, it is a clear sign your relationship is headed downhill. A common thread running across all unhealthy relationships is some form of abuse—physical, psychological, financial, sexual or social. Such a partner can make you feel inadequate, unworthy and miserable. Every interaction feels wrong and brims with negative energy.
The indicators of a rift between you and your partner could be subtle, and to identify them, you need to pay close attention to your interactions with them. For instance, does your partner constantly keep a check on you or violate your privacy and personal space? Do they accuse you of talking to people you ‘shouldn’t’ or tell you what you can and cannot wear? Do they belittle you privately and publicly? All such behavioural patterns are warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, which should be dealt with immediately.
An unhealthy relationship can scar you emotionally, lower your self-esteem, stunt your progress and take an immense toll on your wellbeing. A study titled Stable negative social exchanges and health found that “negative social exchanges with family, friends, and neighbours are known to be an important source of stress in daily life, and chronic stress is theorized to have especially potent impacts on health.”
If you are worried about being in such a relationship and wondering what to do next, here are some signs to help you identify if it’s time to call it quits.
Controlling and manipulative behaviour
A healthy relationship is all about making decisions together, and not for each other. Partners who like to be in control of the relationship express this need by being manipulative. They use a whole arsenal of manipulation tools to dominate their partner. Such type of controlling behaviour stems from a deep sense of insecurity and low self-esteem. A toxic partner may attempt to control or diminish your worth to uplift themselves. For example, they may monitor your day-to-day routine and be overly invested in your social life on the pretext of caring about you. They may purposely make your family and friends uncomfortable in your presence and later blame them for playing spoilsport. When such situations occur over and over again, they reach the point of them seeming intentional. If you notice such signs in your relationship, consider it a major deal-breaker.
Toxic communication
Have you come across a situation when you ask your partner to do something and they agree, but do it half-heartedly? And when you point that out, they complain and make you feel guilty about asking them. Unhealthy communication patterns are characterised by drastic mood swings, unexpected emotional outbursts and inconsistent responses. Such a partner may react to a situation affirmatively one day and explode in the same situation the next day. People who exhibit such behaviour struggle to communicate their feelings clearly. They expect you to read their mind and know what they are going through. They may deliberately start an argument with you or seem to be in constant conflict with your thoughts and ideas. The phrase ‘addicted to drama’ is relevant here.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship include controlling and manipulative behaviour, toxic communication, patterns of disrespect, dishonesty, holding grudges, and constant feelings of fear and anxiety.
Toxic communication can lead to drastic mood swings, inconsistent responses, and unexpected emotional outbursts, causing misunderstandings and conflict in the relationship.
Dishonesty, including lying, withholding information, or manipulating facts, breaches trust and causes lasting damage, leading to resentment and conflict in the relationship.
Constant feelings of fear and anxiety around a partner indicate an unhealthy relationship, where one may feel afraid to speak their mind and may face threats or intimidation, making it essential to consider ending the relationship.
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