Everyone has a different idea of purpose and fulfillment. Some attach it to their professional achievements, some to being well-rounded parents or individuals and some to their romantic relationships. A lot of us also measure our milestones in terms of the miles we have reached in our creative pursuits. Then there is the other type; those who belong to moments, not milestones. We say there is no right or wrong way to approaching life. Whatever keeps us motivated to take every day in our stride is good enough.
Indeed, we are all chasing something elusive, which we think will make us happier, better, richer and so on. That is the very act of living life, to keep going no matter what. Yet somehow we refrain or procrastinate from taking the next step sometimes. We end up focusing on the resources we do not have at our disposal and lull ourselves into never starting, at the risk of remaining stagnant. A little self-reflection comes in very useful at such stages of our lives. A practice that may help us in such situations is to train our minds into narrowing down on the things we can access and utilize to make our next move and get ahead.
If we can sometimes allow the negative thoughts in our head to take precedence and feel bogged down, a reverse mechanism can also be applied here. We can train our minds to always look at the things we do have, our blessings, our gifts and abilities to make the most out of life. In time, it helps us develop that spirit about ourselves where we feel prepared for and positive about anything that comes our way.
We all have to figure out our own ways of achieving this state of mind. But at Soulveda, we have done some research so walking this new path won’t be so hard for you. We take you through a few ways to harness the habit of making the best of what we have, even if it seems to be the bare minimum.
Colour everything with your imagination
Remember, when you do not have enough resources or help, you can always turn to the greatest tool at your disposal: the mind. Stop to take stock of the situation at hand. Face facts and accept that you have to work with what you have got. Then think hard to innovate, all the ways in which you can give something your own individualistic spin.
Consider this – you find yourself in a job that you do not particularly enjoy, but you can’t leave it for monetary reasons or otherwise. So do you plunge into hopelessness around your career? No. You find the little things in the job that you can agree with and start from there. Think of how you can light up every task that you take up with creativity, set a better standard and contribute to improving how things are done around the workplace. Soon enough, you may find yourself in a better place than when you joined.
Show gratitude
Your happiness is sometimes just a phone call to your mom away. Truly, before plunging into what you do not have, learn to see the world you have created in all its glory and access the best of it. Gratitude is a powerful virtue to have, especially when you want to steer your mind and heart towards positivity.
A mistake that we as humans often make is dwell too much and too long on the one or two things that are not going right or we do not have in our lives. What we must understand is that even if we were to suddenly come up on that one missing aspect, it might only bring us short lived happiness. Sooner or later, we will be over it and seeking something else that has been missing.
The best approach therefore is to work towards building and strengthening multiple aspects of our life that give us happiness and then be grateful for all that we acquire. This way of life also teaches us another thing; no loss of one part or aspect of our life will be able to create a vacuum that we cannot fill.
And remember, for that permanent source of happiness, we can always count on the love of our dear ones.
Refrain from self-deprecatory behavior
They don’t say ‘we are our own biggest enemy’ for nothing. Too often, we allow ourselves to dive into a rabbit hole of inferiority complex. We see someone or something they have accomplished and get triggered into mulling over how they have it better than us. This sort of a thought pattern helps no one. It is not okay to harbour aspirations that stem from wanting to be more like someone.
Our aspirations should be aligned with our own life’s journey, means and motivations. If there are some things that someone we look up to has that we don’t, chances are they also miss something that we may have in abundance. Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side, but trying to be the best version of ourselves despite our limitations makes us a far stronger personality with plenty of intriguing stories to tell on how we got where we are in life.
Do not fret over details
Let’s be honest. How much time have we lost in life just conjuring up all kinds of fake scenarios around a certain activity at hand or fretting over details without actually lifting a finger? A number of reasons are usually at play in keeping us in such a state of limbo. We are too afraid to start, we fear that we won’t get it right, we are not sure of ourselves or our abilities. And when we do take action, we start worrying if we can pull it off.
But here’s the thing, it is essential that we interrupt such thoughts that tell us that we will fail at something and get to doing it. Think in affirmations instead, along the lines of, “I can get this done, no problem”, “I am going to get there”, “I might be slow but at least I am making actual progress”, and so on.
Expect only from yourself
A truth that comes handy as we get older is that no one is responsible for us, our life, our peace and our happiness but us. Always know and believe that you are enough for yourself and the tools you have with you are the only ones you can wield. Don’t expect anyone, no matter how intimately they are a part of your life, to come and rescue you or make you happy. If you chance upon someone who shows up and is willing to do all that for you, nothing like it! But don’t make it a habit to depend on them. We are all, at the end of the day, on our own.
It has been seen that sooner or later, life arrives at a juncture where we may have to do things we have always had done for us. It is essential to not find ourselves ill-equipped when we get there.
Own your choices and celebrate your wins
Because we are only responsible for the turns that our life takes, there’s really no rulebook to how we should be living it. Learn to tune out the noise of people telling you what you should or should not be doing or the goals you should or should not be chasing.
Carve out your own unique ways of doing things, savour every moment of freedom and independent thinking and celebrate your wins, both big and small. Most importantly, don’t let someone else’s ways trick you into regretting the choices you make. When life passes us by, we are all left regretting the things we didn’t do more than the things we did end up doing. Your impulses make you who you are so don’t forget to act on them every now and then, albeit rationally.
Navigate the worst to get to the best
If there’s one universal and undeniable truth that we have all heard about life, it is that nothing lasts forever. You may be going through a tough phase right now. You may have even hit rock bottom, but this is not it. This too shall pass.
Life as we all know is really a cycle. You are constantly arriving at either good times or bad. While we may sometimes feel like the bad times last longer and the good times just swish past us, none of it is ever constant. The joys of succeeding are deepest when we have failed a few times. A life well lived is all about cataclysmic highs or soul-shattering lows. And there’s no escaping either, only embracing it all. So make the best of what you have by acknowledging every positive thing that happens to you, for you and by you.
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