Our self-esteem is often low when we face rejection, loneliness, or failure. At such vulnerable times, we must avoid negative self-talk and be gentle with ourselves, Winch says. The psychologist further advises against the unhealthy habit of rumination. For instance, when a professor makes us feel stupid in class or when we face harsh criticism at work or when we have a bitter argument with a friend, we tend to replay the scene in our head a hundred times over the next few days. This amplifies the impact of the negative experience and brings us more pain than necessary, thereby taking a toll on our self-esteem.
In fact, a study conducted by the University of Basel, Switzerland, has shown that rumination is the link between low self-esteem and depression. This means individuals with low self-esteem who constantly ruminate over hurtful experiences and thoughts are at risk of plunging into depression. Furthermore, this can snowball into physical health disorders as well. Spending so much time focussing on upsetting negative thoughts could put one on the path to developing alcoholism, eating disorders, and even cardiovascular diseases.
Evidently, low self-esteem has far-reaching consequences when it comes to our overall wellbeing. And nothing short of an attitude overhaul will help us overcome this problem. Letting go of negative habits by forming positive ones is the most important step in this process. The next time we find ourselves going down the road of self-sabotage, we must stop and actively switch to positive thoughts. Of course, this might be easier said than done.
To make it simpler, we can try to distance ourselves from the negative situation and talk to ourselves like a good friend would. Actually reaching out to a good friend too might be a good way to inject some positive thoughts and solutions into our minds. This might help us feel comforted during difficult times. As Winch puts it: “By taking action when you’re lonely, by changing your responses to failure, by protecting your self-esteem, by battling negative thinking, you won’t just heal your psychological wounds, you will build emotional resilience, you will thrive.”
